Soft in Spirit

Stephen: "I want to marry someone with a soft spirit, so she won't fight with me."
David: "I don't think that will work for you, because you have a hard spirit."

Andrew: "You know how people are more likely to crash when they're speeding? Well, they should change the speed limit to 100 miles per hour, and then less people would speed, and so less people would crash."

David to Andrew: "You would look better if you were black and a little bit fat."

David: "Jacob worked 7 years for Rachel?! That's stupid! And it seemed like a short time to him?!"
Jacob: "I would have just found another girl."

Andrew: "Sarah, why do you always mark emails as 'unread'? You shouldn't do that. That's lying to yourself."

Dad to Abigail, while discussing Bill and Hillary Clinton: "I wonder if it's possible for the Beast and the Antichrist to be married."

David, while eating homemade yogurt: "It's still alive!"

David: "Those puppies were really cute. They were even cuter than me!"

Abigail to Stephen: "You're about to make me lose my temper. And you don't want to do that. Trust me!"

Sarah: "My perfectionism makes me cruel."

Sarah: (looking at Amazon.com and smiling with anticipation) : "I really want some more books to read. Oh, wait, I have lots of books to read downstairs!"

Jacob to Dad: "I would really like to have this. Aren't Dads supposed to buy things for their little boys?"

David to Dad after Dad cut his leg with the chainsaw: "How old is your leg?"

David, after being pricked by a cactus: "Ouch! This is pricking me. But it's all for the best..."

David to Sarah: "You're too old to be cute."

Andrew: "A team can do anything."

David: "Mommy, did you call Uncle Steve 'uncle steve' when he was a little boy?"

David, seeing a pillared building on a hill: "Mommy, look! The Romans live up there!"

Sarah to an unidentified male: "You are chivalry personified - you just have to be goaded on a little and nagged for a few minutes."

Abigail: "My calendar says, "All you need is love". I'm not so sure. I could use some money, too."

Abigail: "People think that love is an upwards kind of thing, but it isn't. It's a downward thing. You fall in love."

Andrew to Sarah: "You're going to share your chocolate-covered raisins with us? If I were you, I would keep them forever."

David to Sarah: "Why are you putting your chocolate-covered raisins away? Is it because you are embarrassed that I am throwing them?"

David: "I really want to be an uncle!"

David to Sarah: "If you wait too long to get married, all the men will be dead."

Andrew to Sarah: "If you care what I say, you are very gullible."

David to Sarah: "I am the spoiledest boy in the whole world."

Andrew to Abigail: "What? You are sending an email to __ ? You have no business sending her an email that long! Oh, you're going to start talking about me. Of course. I'm the famous one!"
Abigail: "Sigh to the fifth power."

David: "Sarah, you have braided hair! That is cool. Were you born with braided hair?"

David to Sarah: "Did you notice that most of the people in the park today were sinners?"

Dad to Sarah: "Don't ever get engaged to a man who wears a baseball cap all the time."

Andrew: "Sarah had it harder than all of us. She had to break Mom and Dad in."

Sarah to Abigail: "I had to fight for everything I've got, but you get life handed to you on a golden platter!"

Andrew: "Usually ladies don't make good comedians."

David: "I saw a man cigaretting [smoking]."

Jacob, after nearly slipping on a puddle of water in the kitchen: "Whew! If I was an old lady, I would have died!"