Thursday, July 10, 2008

Waterproofing Water

One day, as we eat our lunch, David pipes up with a thoroughly and uniquely absorbing question.

"Daddy, is water waterproof?"

As the rest of us ponder the depth of the subject, Dad suspiciously glances over at this young philosopher. "What kind of question is that?" he laughs.

Now David, ever seeking answers to his probing questions points out that that isn't any sort of an answer and reiterates his question.

"Well, I guess I'd say 'No'," Dad muses, "because if you pour water on water it will be wet."

Satisfied, David begins somewhere else. "If you pour water into a lake, does that water sit on the top of the lake or sink down to the bottom?"

"You sure ask interesting questions David!" Dad chuckles.

Andrew now decides to enlighten us all with his knowledge.

"Easy - the second law of thermodynamics."

The rest of us smile and nod our heads, perfectly clueless as to what that law states, but content to trust big brother and act knowingly as if we do - all the while guessing at whether Andrew knows anymore than the rest of us.

"That doesn't answer my question!" David complains pointedly.

"It diffuses. But not if it's ice, of course."

"Then what does it do if it's ice?"

"It sinks."

"But why?"

"Because of density."

David ponders this answer for awhile, then turns from big brother's highly scientific answers to something a bit more, shall we say, unique.

"Daddy, if you put water in a dryer, will the water become dry?"

"No, it won't." Dad answers, as we all laugh at the idea. Dry water... now that's something else. We have dry ice - what's to stop someone from inventing dry water?

"Well then the dryer isn't doing it's job - it'd be broken!"

"No David, a dryer is supposed to dry clothes, not water." explains Dad.

"Oh. Can it dry hair?" David tries.


"Can a dryer dry hair?"

"Well, I'm not exactly sure what you mean David, I suppose so." Dad answers after some thought on the matter.

"What if the hair is on a animal - like a cat or dog and you put the cat in the dryer with wet hair - will the dryer dry the cat's hair?"

"David, you are so funny!" we all laugh at his candid-ness.

"But would it?"

"Well, I'll tell you what would happen - you'd end up with a dead cat!" and we all laugh once again as Dad imparts this piece of wisdom to the baby of the family.

David then decides to ask the infamous 'killer question'.

"How do you know Daddy?"

"Well David," Dad states with a smile, "believe it or not, there are some people who think like you do and they've tried that."

Whoa! We look at each other with looks of mixed impressiveness and horror on our faces. No kidding. Dads sure are cool!

"In fact," Dad goes on "some people have even tried putting their animals, like kittens or hampsters, in the microwave." Dad looks around the table at our amazed faces.

"And what happened?" Stephen ventures, after a breathless pause.

"Well they exploded."

We all burst into fits laughter, as Andrew comments on the effectiveness of the idea.
Mom, on the other hand, is horrified. "Andrew! That's animal abuse!"

"No mom, it's just animal population control...." Andrew replies, " NUKE THE KITTIES!"


Andrew said...

Do you really think ice sinks? And do you have me as the one saying that?
Everyone over 3rd grade should know that ice floats. Think Icebergs. They are on top of the ocean, not below it.
I would never say that ice sinks, niether would Dad.
You need to research facts before publishing

Abigail said...

Sorry!!! That mistake is due to my dis-like of science. My bad. Sorry folks...

Anonymous said...

this is HILARIOUS, i luved it abi

Anonymous said...

boy oh boy, are you all amish or what?;0 ;0

The Writer of this Article. said...

Anonymous #2: No. We are NOT Amish.

Anonymous said...

My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!