Death by Zucchini

We here at the Grecian Inquirer have once again teamed up to bring you yet another humorous collection of random Greek philosophical observations. Enjoy!

Dad: "My uncle died of leukemia."
David: "Zucchimia? Is that when you eat too much zucchini?"

Abigail to Dad: "Had color TV been invented when you were born?"

Abigail, on hearing that Sarah was alive when the Berlin Wall fell: "I didn't even know that Dad was alive back then!"

Abigail, on seeing pictures of graffiti on the Berlin Wall: "I didn't know that graffiti had been invented back then."

Abigail: "I broke it, but it still works!"

David: "Daddy, how old were you when you were born?"

Abigail: "We should TP the UN building!"

Abigail: "When I grow up I'm going to adopt 24 kids. Plus I'll have my own."
Sarah: "Are you going to homeschool them or send them to a Christian school?"
Abigail: "Sarah, I'm going to have so many children that my house will BE a Christian school!"

Sarah: "At the time, I was certain that I would wake up dead....er, not wake up."

Jacob to Dad: "Would it be ok if I were 8 feet tall when I grow up?" (nice of him to get permission, don't you think?)
Dad: "No."
Jacob: "Can I be 7 feet tall?"
Dad: "I suppose. But you'll have a hard time finding clothes and shoes."
Mom: "And a wife!"
Sarah, later: "He's going to have a problem with that anyway."

David to Mom: "You look like you're dressed to be in 2nd class on the Titanic." (only a 6-year-old homeschooler would say that!)

Abigail: "I feel like having a very mature conversation with a very mature person about a very mature topic."

Sarah: "The enemies of your enemies are not necessarily your friends."

David was helping Mom make a smoothie in the blender. When it was finished blending, David peered into the blender and noticed several small bubbles rising to the surface. "Look, Mom!", he exclaimed. "A frog!"

Sarah, while explaining the complexities of the human birthing experience and the miracle of birth to Abigail: "Anyone can die, but it takes someone special to be born." :)

David and Mom were reading the story told in Genesis 22: 20-24 when David asked a strange question:
David: "Did they eat their children in Bible times?"
Mom: "Of course not. They would have been cannibals if they did that."
A few minutes later: "So, how many children did Milcah have?"
David: "None."
Mom: "Look again."
David read it again and said: "None."
Mom: "They had eight [ate] children."
David: "See? I told you!"

Stephen: "Hey, that's my car! You can't take it! The Bible says, 'do not steal'."
David: "It also says 'it is hard for the rich to go to heaven'. I'm just helping you!"

David: "I really want a job that pays about 9 dollars a minute."
Dad: "If you find a job like that, let me know. I'll retire, and you can take care of me!"

Happy Birthday, Stephen!

My little brother is no ordinary kid. Having just turned 9 years old, Stephen is quite the expert on vehicles, loves to learn new things, and enjoys telling his latest jokes. While we are driving down the highway he is usually peering out the window and impressing us with his vast knowledge of vehicles of all kinds. With a "Look! There's an Expedition!" or a "Did you see that Toyota Tacoma?" or even "You don't know the difference between a Dodge Dakota and a Dodge Durango?" (he was talking to me there). We are quite amazed at his skill in the identification of them.

Stephen is also quite the avid reader. He has informed me that his favorite book (it was a hard decision) is 'Gateway to Space' and 'The Dictionary'. Spoken like a true homeschooler! He reads as much as possible and it is quite hard to pull him from his books.

Art and P.E. are his favorite subjects in school and he enjoys showing others the latest projects he has done in his Art book. On being asked what he thought his future career might be, he replied, "Oh, I don't know. I think I'll just do miscellaneous jobs. Maybe I'll sell cars on ebay."

For his birthday activity he requested to go iceskating and then to have supper at the Japanese Steakhouse. He had a wonderful time and was quite a remarkable iceskater. He won alot of races we had at the iceskating rink.

Stephen is quite the goof ball at times, and does a great job of making people laugh. Drop him a comment and wish him a 'Happy Birthday!'.

Glimpse into a Girl's Mind

Abigail's math book: "A grain auger is driven by an electric motor with a 3-inch pulley turning at 1,750 rpm. The belt around this pulley drives a 13-inch pulley with a 3 1/2 inch sprocket on the same shaft; both pulley and sprocket turn at the same speed. The 3 1/2 inch sprocket turns a chain that drives the 12-inch sprocket of the auger. What is the speed of the 12-inch sprocket?"

Abigail's answer: "1,750 rpms? Sprocket? Auger? Rpm's? Shafts? Pulley? WHAT?? This problem is for Mennonite farmers who lived 200 years ago - not me!"

You know better than I

I learned something new recently.

It's probably not a good idea to sing "You know better than I" when your siblings are around. Especially little sisters. Especially little sisters who have just hinted that they think you should do all their chores for them.

For some strange reason, they're liable to get the impression that you're singing to them. Never mind the spiritual references in the song. Never mind the fact that their suggestion was the last thing on your mind when you were singing.

"I've let go of the need to know why, for You know better than I"

This really boosted my sister's ego. The look on her face said it plainly: "Sarah! I've been trying to tell you all along!"

A Greek is Born!

We are happy to announce the birth of another cousin! Josiah Israel was born on December 19,2006. He weighed 6 pounds and 6 ounces.

We congratulate his proud parents David and Alyssa on the birth of this little boy. Congratulations also to his older siblings James, Michaela, and Jasper.

Welcome to the Greek family, Josiah!

Also Overheard at the Greeks

David: "That's a Navy bean? I wish there was an Air Force bean."

Stephen: "Sarah goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at 3:00 in the morning."

Mom: "Abigail has many interesting conversations - with herself."

Andrew: "Classical music doesn't have any words because words hadn't been invented back then."

Dad: "But if she went, she wouldn't be here."

Mom: "When someone says 'I see', you never know exactly what they see."

Sarah went on a walk with Jacob, Stephen, and David after dark, and the boys began to get scared of the coyotes and other animals howling in the distance.
Sarah: "Well, boys, if we're attacked by a panther, should I protect you or will you all protect me?"
Stephen: (shivering and moving closer to Sarah) "You protect us!"

Dad: "Sarah, you should stop writing until you're going to get paid for it."

Stephen: "Do you ever feel like a rotten pig after you eat too much?"
Dad: "I don't know what a rotten pig feels like."

Jacob: "I don't have enough money for a bike"
Andrew: "Ask them if you can trade Sarah for it."

Dad: "President Bush declared tomorrow a national day of mourning for President Ford."
David: "Does that mean police are going to drive by our house to make sure we're crying?"

Sarah: "This is a cute shirt! Except it looks bad."

Abigail to Sarah: "You think I care if I get kidnapped? It's you I'm worried about."

Dad: "Come on girls, you don't have to write everything down. People are going to be afraid to talk in this house!"
Andrew: "They already are!"

Groceries by Night

Written by Sarah several years ago for a children's publication. A true story.

The Greeks are coming home.

Miles and miles from town, up and down and left and right, over the mountains and through the ravines, the van roars through the darkness.

It is a cold January night, but on the inside, the van is cozy and warm. The children sit with their heads tucked under their arms, half-asleep, like chickens on a roost in the barn at night. Maybe that's were they'd learned it from, for no one has to spend the night with a chicken to learn a thing or two.

Suddenly there is a loud splash. Icy water flies up as the trusty red van speeds through a creek, and then, a few minutes later, dashes through another one. The milk jugs tremble and nearly topple over.

The van crunches to a halt before a blue cattle-panel gate with fresh snow piled atop its bars, standing at attention like a sentinel before a palace. The headlights reveal only a steep hill beyond, covered in snow, with woods pressing in thickly from either side of the road. Deer and raccoon tracks cover the trail, but there is no other sign of life anywhere.

A general commotion breaks out inside the van as heads emerge from arms and arms from heads, seatbelts snap open, and a high litle voice pipes, "Daddy, are we there now?". Then confusion takes over in the form of a general scramble for coats, hats, mittens and boots before the doors swing open and the cold air breaks the warmth with an icy slap. Mom hurries to bundle up the babies for the treck ahead.

The door slams open and four children jump out eagerly, landing one by one in the soft snow. They race to the back doors, each grabbing a sled from the side of the road on their way.

Behind the back seat, the van is full of groceries from the day's trip. It is a huge pile, and with the moon shining dimly on it, it seems even larger.

By this time Dad has reached the back, and everyone begins piling groceries neatly in the sleds. Eggs, potatoes, milk, kiwi, peppers, bagels, and even a bag of oranges from Florida. It's a far cry from these snowy mountains, that magically beautiful peninsula where the sun always seems to shine and tropical heat beats down on endless rows of citrus trees. Imagine the waves pounding rhythmically on the sandy coast, while children scream in delight over their lovely sand castles....

But Florida is far, far away tonight, and here in the world of icycles and toboggan rides, most of us are only worried about getting home.

By now the group is huffing and puffing their way up the trail, their plastic yellow sleds slowly bobbing along behind. A single tomato, pushed out the back of a sled by a box of taco shells, rolls down, picks up speed, flies through the air, and then hurtles into a patch of ice at the bottom of the mountain. An orange follows in quick succession. Oh well. Someone is bound to find them in the morning.

The glow of the flashlights winds to and fro around the snowbanks. Coyotes howl eerily from the neighboring hills. The small group presses on, dodging trees and pausing every so often for someone to adjust the buckles on their snowboots. The walking is difficult, so the children stop occasionally to giggle and catch their breath. Mom and Dad, with little ones, are not far behind.

Thirty minutes and thousands of steps later, the soft lights of the house can finally be seen. It stands lonely in a clearing, distant and isolated from the refinement of the city so many miles away. The boys quickly take a shortcut through the woods, while the girls opt to stay on the trail.

The wind whistles past angrily as the shivering travelers stomp their feet and yank their sleds into the house. A gust of warm air escapes outside and rises quickly toward the clouds.

A few minutes later, all is warmth and coziness inside as the family stretches out around the crackling fireplace. The coals glow red and toasty, and the children curl their frosty fingers around steaming mugs of hot cocoa.

Meanwhile, outside on the mountain, a shadowy raccoon slips stealthily out of the forest and onto the trail, where the forgotten tomato waits helplessly in the snow. He hunches down and sinks his teeth into the juicy fruit.

Another day on the mountain ended.

One in 19,343

We always thought we were unique. We've often felt different from the rest. We've always seemed a little counter-cultural, kind of weird.

We are.

We have discovered that we are 1 out of 19,343. 'Greek' is the 19,343rd most popular last name in the United States. And even then, it has to share that humble status with 503 other last names. In other words, you have to wade through countless other humans before you can even hope to get to us.

If you know us, therefore, you have the rare privilege of an acquaintance with individuals who can only be found once in a crowd of 19,343 or more. Or is it one in a million? :P